addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize