The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You were trust falling into bushes
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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