where does the pee come out of this thing
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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