Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
