i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
