That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
