i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
