just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
