It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize