i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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