My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
