I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
