he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
