Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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