Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How external is "for external use only"?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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