LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
