so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
