Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
