oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
