She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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