its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
