i barfeds in our rink
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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