dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
