just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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