And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
