nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Soap is not a condiment
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
