failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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