I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
