Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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