why didn't you poke me back
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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