I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
