so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
