hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wanna passion pit in your ass
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
