He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
