i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
