I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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