Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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