Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
