It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize