just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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