Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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