Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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