she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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