i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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