saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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