Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
