We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize