I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
