after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dignity is for republicans.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize