yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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