Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i think my cat just said my name.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
