Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont even know how to be here
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
