hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize