blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize