what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
