I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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