I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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