Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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