Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
