This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
