Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
