I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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