Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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