I think i peed on brittanys purse
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
