Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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