Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
