I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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