I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
