I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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